Thank you for your kind
letters and prayers. I am lucky to have been raised in a strong family
and in a strong community. One thing that has passed through my mind
every day of my two months here in Honduras is that we don't realize how
much we have until we don't have it. I'd like to re-illustrate that my
mission, and probably Kyle's mission too, is like a camp-out without the
campfire.
Another analogy that may help you
understand what the people are like here (at least a majority of the
people): when talking to Evangelists here, which is a big chunk of the
religious background (including Family Gevara), it's like playing house
with dolls and cars and dress-ups. They think they can go around and say
whatever that want and do whatever they want and then say they had
authority to do it because God came to them or their neighbor, and gave
them the right to do so. It's like playing house because all the kids
make up a part of the story and build on each others falsehoods. All
that the children imagine is false but to them it's all real. I think it
was E. Bednar (just a guess) that said the commandments are like
gravity. Just because we ignore it's existence doesn't mean that there
aren't consequences for jumping off a cliff.
As
far as my experiences with Elder D. have gone, I don't fully
understand why he makes cruel pranks on me but I look back and I just
have to laugh at how gullible I am. I am a very literal person and he
took advantage of that, which I hate. But it's no good to hold a grudge
about any of it even if it really did hurt my feelings. He told me that I
don't know him well enough to know when he's joking but what he still
doesn't understand about me is that I can't tell when ANYONE is joking
unless they make it really obvious (It's all in Spanish.) He's difficult to live with but I
haven't said a word about how he lives, how his cooking is (burned rice
for three nights in a row doesn't sound appetizing to me or fill me up), or anything
else. Elder D. told me I need to learn patience cause I have none,
but he doesn't know how much I have been patient with him already.
My
CCM instructor, Hna Garcia told me that my greatest quality she saw
while we were in the CCM was that I always cared for everyone else
before myself and that I thought of what everyone else needed first
before myself. In other words, we all see things through our own window.
Some of our windows are dirty and some of our windows aren't very big.
Sometimes we just need to open the window and stick our head out of our
bubble and try to completely see the circumstances of our friends. I
wish with all my heart that I can see Elder D. sticking his head out
of the window to see me. I look to him always for guidance when I don't
know what to say, and when I don't understand.
The
only exemplar of perfect understanding, and of perfect listening is our
Savior. As I have had issues with having no one near me to turn to and
to share my troubles with, I am reminded that we always have God. He is
always listening. He is always there.
One thing
that I'm not good at and I don't know exactly how to do is to succor
the poor especially here in Honduras. There are two types of poor. As
described in the scriptures, there is the poor in spirit because they
have nothing as to temporal possessions. But the other poor that often
confuses my eye is the poor in the world that harden their hearts still.
On more than one occasion I have seen the poor in spirit and have
ministered to them. On the other hand, the poor of the world beg for
support as they carry a bottle to sniff their next high out of. As Elder
Holland said in his Conference address, "Love the poor in spirit." and
"Administer to the poor and needy that they shall not suffer." Last of
all but definitely powerful to me, "Do we not ALL beg?" And so I come to
the crisis that I've been experiencing in my mind, "Shall I give to
those who will not profit from my giving because they spend it on worldly
addictions, even though I see their need?"
"I am not my brother's keeper but I am my brother's brother."
This
conference also made me reflect on home. In missionary terms, it made
me baggy. I couldn't help but see my family and especially my parents
when Elder Perry said, "Successful parents are never too busy for their
children." Mom and Dad, you are perfect examples of this to me. You are
my Prime Gospel Teachers still.
I could hear my Mom
telling me, "Don't beat yourself up about it." when Elder Jorg Klebingat
said, "Embrace your weaknesses because some of them will be your
companions until you leave this life." and again when Elder Uchtdorf
invited us to stop allowing pride to cover our weaknesses.
Dad,
when Elder Eyring speaks, I always see you there instead. You aren't as
old as him, don't worry about that yet. ;) I see you because the calm
fatherly smile he has, you have. When he talked about being a dedicated
priesthood leader, I saw you and I walking to the Staheli's and helping
with the leaves at the Fulmer's. Thank you for your priceless service
and loving lessons not only to me but to my friends as we ventured
through the years of scouting. I am sure you can see, although you don't
admit your help in their growth, the influence you've had in my life
and the life of my friends. I hope to have the trust and humility that
you have shown me, someday with my wife and kids.
Also, I might have a baptism this week. (Guillermo) He's a little
hesitant to be baptized without a perfect knowledge of the Bible yet but
we'll work with him. We're thinking positively! :)
My
last thought I wanted to share was that the influence of evil is real.
BUT, we can find immeasureable happiness in the gospel. As Elder Bednar
said, "Our simple desire is to share the message that we treasure so
dearly in our hearts, because it has brought us immeasureable happiness."
Con Amor,
Elder Tuft
==============
Mom,
I
haven't put the photos or videos on my google account cause it takes
hours to do so. So, I will send what I can through gmail but that means
the videos will have to wait for after my mission. Sorry, I don't have
control over internet speed. :(
Also, Yes the
mission rules have changed. Phone calls to families during Christmas and
Mother's day are limited to 30-40 minutes now and we cannot use Skype. I
didn't know this before but now we can't watch Disney movies on P-day
either (I wasn't going to do that anyways but I guess it was a common
P-day activity before.)
I'll have my Christmas
letters for next week and I'll type them and send them. If I miss
someone, just let me know for the next week.
I
haven't had problems with my bowels anymore, luckily, because magnesium is expensive and tastes disgusting. If I have future problems, that's
what I'll use but I'm not going to use it on a regular basis because
it's expensive and tastes disgusting.
I don't
know where Elder Mahan is from or who is family is. All I know is that he's a
great worker and loves to hunt (even here on the mission when he had to
hunt for his food in the south.)
I don't know when
Elder D. leaves the mission but he's been here for 5 months now (6 after Oct) and so it's really likely he will be leaving here. I'm hoping
for a gringo companion that can help show me the ropes more. And one
that isn't planching (only wanting to go home and not work anymore). The
lifestyle at home really is sooo much better than here. It's a big
reason that people want to go home from here.
It's
also fantastic that you are sharing the gospel with your friends and in
your circle. One day, you could have a baptism even! :)
Dad,
I
read and loved your talk. It was really well written and I felt the
reconfirmation of the Holy Ghost as I read it. So, thanks :)
I
wanted to take pictures of our new house and send them to you but I
didn't have time so I'll do that later. I bought a hammock as well to go
on the third floor that has a great view of the area. (That's why
you'll find some money withdrawn from my account, $25 about plus
transaction fee. And then there was one time where we had no money
because of travel expenses so I took out another $5 for that.)
So
my answers to your questions: I know I can be more grateful for my companion. I
can see his patience with me even though I can see he is frustrated that
I don't understand Spanish yet. We had a zone meeting and the lesson
was about gratitude. Elder D. was called on to share one thing he was
grateful to me for. I'll share as close as I can to the right words that
he said about me, "Elder Tuft has a lot of faith. When we set goals at
night and plan for the weeks ahead, he always stretches our limits.
'Faith without works is dead.' And I think Elder Tuft does this, and
then works hard."
So, not all things are bad
about him. Most things are really good. There are just a few pretty big
things that I've had to forgive and forget to continue to work in the
Spirit of the Lord. In Conference, I learned that we must never hold
grudges. And so I'm letting it all go. Even though it hurt at the time. I
hope to one day look back and laugh and enjoy the times I struggled and
clumsily learned. I will look for qualities that I see in him and that I
want to develop. This week I am starting a new study layout that
includes time to study Christ-like attributes. I will be sure to look
for Christ-like attributes in Elder D. and try to develop myself as I
observe him. Thank you for your questions and for your helpful
insights. :) Love you!
Also, Thanks for sharing
your experience meeting the prophet and in the temple! I had no idea
about you meeting the prophet! Both experiences must have been so cool
:)
=================
Kyle,
Thank you for
your help. You've always been a great example and teacher to me. I'll
try to be an unwavering example for him (and for myself) more. It's
hard to be consistent but I know I can do it. I feel you with the
heating of the water thing. We did that and I will do that more I bet in
the rest of my mission. But, right now, we have hot water so I'm in
heaven. :) I'll try to respect his authority more and just follow for
right now. I hope I can get to know him better but he shuts down when I
don't understand something and doesn't feel like explaining much to me.
It's hard for him to write well and he frequently refers to me on how to
write even if it's in Spanish. So I've felt compassion for him because I
can see him learning the things I learned in school already and I think
to myself how ungrateful I've been. I'll keep in touch with updates
here and there these next few weeks. I have hope that everything will
work out alright. :)
Love you lots,
Elder Spencer
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